Carols

Santa loves to sing. So here are some carols. Santa can also download them here.

The Twelve Days of Christmas

(remembering to emphasise 5 double gins, as in 5 golden rings)

On the first day of Christmas my true love bought for me:
A lager for 99p

On the second day of Christmas my true love bought for me:
2 rum and cokes
and a lager for 99p

And so on through:

3 real ales
4 Smirnoff Ice
5 double gins
6 Bacardi Breezers
7 Cheap dry sherries
8 vodka tonics
9 Remy Martins
10 Shots of Absinthe
11 Hundred Pipers
12 Tequila slammers

Away on a bender

Away on a bender, been sick on the bed,
the drunken old Santa lays down his sweet head.
The stars in the Met Bar look down where he lay,
The pissed up old Santa asleep on the drain.

The in-laws are rowing, the baby awakes,
But drunken old Santa no crying he makes.
I love thee, old Santa! But zip up your fly,
And stay by my side until morning is nigh.

Be near me, my Santa; I ask thee to stay
Close by me forever, you are my best mate.
Bless all the dear bottles in thy tender care,
Invite us to sit down, and please let us share.

Becks and Grolsch

Becks and Grolsch and shots of Stolly
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Tis the season to get trollied,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Proudly wearing red apparel,
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.

Pissed and drunk and singing carols,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Santa’s here for merry mischief,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

losing clothes and baring arse cheeks,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

See the tourists stop and staring,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Take a photo if you’re daring,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Santas off to cause more mayhem,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Bars and clubs until 4 am,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Home with girls to get more drinkies
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Last a visit down their chimneys,
Fa la la la la, la la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Hark! The Drunken Santas Sing

Hark! the drunken Santas sing
Glory to the new-born King!
Pissed on bitter and on mild,
God and Santa reconciled!
Joyful, all ye Santas, rise,
drive your reindeer through the skies;
With the sozzled host proclaim
Santa’s born in the West End
Hark! the drunken Santas sing
Glory to the new-born King!

Just another Santa Rampage

(to the tune of Winter Wonderland)

Drunken Santas will be reelin’
No pain will they be feelin’
Red suits will be stained
From the booze that they’ve drained.
Just another Santa Rampage!

You can tell they’ve been drinkin’
Pretty soon, they’ll be stinkin’
Drunk as a mule, with a beard full of drool
Just another Santa Rampage!
This verse changes tune/key – in the original it starts “in the meadow we can build a snowman”

Have you ever seen this many Santas?
Stumbling and lookin’ like a fool?
Don’t you wish that you could be a Santa?
Smokin’ and a-drinkin’, being cool?

Why we’re out here, is Just Because!
We are rebels, with a  Claus
So grab a suit and beard
Come on and get weird
Join us on a Santa Rampage!

O come all ye Santas

O come, all ye Santas,
Joyful and a bit drunk,
O come ye, O come ye to Selfridges;
Come and behold him,
Born the King of Christmas;
O come, let us adore him,
O come, let us adore him,
O come, let us adore him, Sa – anta Claus.

Sing, choirs of Santas,
Sing in exultation,
Sing, all ye citizens of Sa – antacon;
Glory to Santa
In the highest;
O come, let us adore him,
O come, let us adore him,
O come, let us adore him,  Sa – anta Claus

SantaCon is coming to town

You better watch out
You better take fright
You better keep your daughters
at home tonight
SantaCon is coming to town
SantaCon is coming to town
San-ta-Con is com-ing to town

We’re making a list
Of bars we can hit
Where happy hour’s on
And the ladies are fit
SantaCon is coming to town
SantaCon is coming to town
San-ta-Con is com-ing to town

We know what you’ve been up to!
You’ve made the naughty list.
So buy us beer and vodka,
Coz we’re nicer when we’re pissed

So get out of the way,
Of our red suited wave,
Is this anyway,
For St Nick to behave.
San-ta-Con is com-ing to town!!!

We Are the Santa

Sung to ‘You are my sunshine’

We are the Santa
The drunken Santa,
We’re loud and horny
And here to play,
We’re here to tell you
How much we love you,
And take you home at
The end of the day.

We drink bells

We drink Bells
We drink Bells
We drink it all day
Oh what fun it is to drink, a pint of Bells a day

We Wish You A Merry Christmas

We wish you a Merry Christmas;
We wish you a Merry Christmas;
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Good tidings we bring if you bring us gin;
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Oh, bring us some friggin’ peanuts;
Oh, bring us some friggin’ peanuts;
Oh, bring us some friggin’ peanuts and a cup of good beer.
Good tidings we bring if you bring us gin;
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

We won’t go until we get drunk;
We won’t go until we get drunk;
We won’t go until we get drunk, so bring us cold beer.

Good tidings we bring if you bring us gin;
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
We wish you a Merry Christmas;
We wish you a Merry Christmas;
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

Santa Chants

Saaan-ta!
Santa Claus!
Saaan-ta!
Santa Claus!
Saaan-ta!
Santa Claus!
Santa Claus is coming!!
—————–
We love you Santa,
We do,
We love you Santa,
We do,
We love you Santa,
We do,
Oh Santa we love you.
S-A-N-T-A,
We’re S-A-N-T-A,
We know we are,
We’re sure we are,
We’re S-A-N-T-A.
Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole,
Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole,
Santa Claus, Claus, Claus
—————–
He’s big,
He’s red,
He’ll drink until he’s dead,
Santa Claus,
Santa Claus.
—————–
He’s fat,
He’s round,
He’s taking over town,
Santa Claus,
Santa Claus.

Krishna Santa chant

Father Christmas
Father Christmas
Christmas Christmas
Father Father
Christmas Father
Christmas Father
Father Father
Christmas Christmas
(repeat until bored)

What is Santacon?

It is a non-profit, non-political, non-religious and non-sensical celebration of Christmas cheer, goodwill, and fun. It is not a membership organisation just an annual event which organically occurs every year in London and is created by whoever wants to take part. Nevertheless there are customs, and veteran Santas have put together this evolving guide of how to make it work well. There is no particular reason to dress up in Santa suits, run around town, give gifts, sing songs, have strangers sit on our laps, and decide who is naughty or nice - but it’s a lot of fun - so Santa does it anyway. Everyone loves Santa and Santa loves everyone!

Santa's Rules:

  1. Be Jolly. Be nice. Do not throw things at people. Watch out for racism, homophobia or any other kind of abuse and step in to help when needed. Santais inclusive and Santa loves everyone.
  2. Christmas apparel is mandatory. A Santa hat is not enough. Get a Santa suit. Buy a Santa suit. Make a Santa suit. Customise a Santa suit. Be creative. If you don’t have any creativity, slap yourself three times and ask your mum to help you. Glue cotton balls to red long johns, utilise Christmas decorations, whatever. Already have a Santa suit? Bring spare parts for the Santafication of strangers.
  3. Twisting the Christmas paradigm until it screams for mercy is fun! Getting arrested is not. Santa is friendly, respectful, and cooperative with police, security guards, horse guards, MI5 agents, and shop and bar staff, and does NOT break any laws!!! Have your own special surreal fun, but DON’T F*CK IT UP FOR THE REST OF US. Santas do not destroy property, steal merchandise, or do harm to others. The authorities and local businesses usually take Santa’s antics in the loving, festive spirit that Santa intends, if we are nice to them.

Santa's Reminders:

  1. The "route and schedule" is open to liberal interpretation by Santa at all times. There is no head Santa in charge to call. If you can’t show up for the start or get lost, get the mobile number of someone who can help you catch up later. Depending on the year there may be guiding Santas, flags to follow or some technological Santanav system, or you may wish to come up with your own idea to help Santae find their way.
  2. Santa dresses for all occasions. It’s December. Smart Santas wear layers. Dress to maximize merriment whether singing christmas carols in the snow, or dancing manically in the shopping centre.
  3. Santa doesn’t whine! We will be outside much of the early day and covering a lot of ground on foot – bring a bottle of water and enough "snacks" to keep your pie-hole filled until we get indoors.
  4. Bring small gifts – NAUGHTY gifts to give grown ups; NICE stuff to give kids. Visit a pound shop, wrap up coal, sweets and brussels sprouts; Santa loves stickers, hug vouchers and mistletoe.
  5. Watching Santa get drunk can be fun. Babysitting Santa while they vomit in an alley or breaking up fights is not. Don’t be that Santa. You are responsible for yourself! Pace your drinking and be nice to your fellow Santa.

Memorise these answers to important questions that may arise:

  1. Who’s in charge? "Santa!"
  2. What organization are you with? "Santa."
  3. What are you protesting? "We're not protesting we're celebrating."
  4. Why? "Because it's Christmas!"
  5. How did you get here? "A sleigh and eight tiny reindeer."
  6. Where are you going next? "I'm only allowed to tell you if you wear this hat and buy me a beer."